"That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment."
And so too is this blog. To be perfectly honest, I don't handle change well. I like the familiar and the wonderfully comfortable and I'd be thrilled if a great deal of my life never changed so much as one iota from day to day or even year to year. Granted, this is odd coming from someone who finds the changing of the seasons and the cycles of the earth so beautiful to experience, but I don't need to personally fret over the details of Mother Earth because I'm not in control of her. I am however in control of my blogs, or so I thought at any rate, and as such I tend to fuss over every last little thing because I'm a perfectionist in addition to being willingly and blissfully stuck in a rut.
The other day, in a very uncharacteristic moment, I thought it might be fun to change my blog. Then I remembered what a pain in the ass I am and decided it would be far less stressful to just let it be. So, it was with great annoyance, as well as quite a bit of surprise at the timing, that I received a note today informing me that the website from which I had gotten my background templates for two of my three blogs is shutting down and I had only a few hours to either find something new or find myself with two hideously plain blogs. And after hours of test-driving templates, I have come up with nothing I truly like. I'm not terribly fond of this gray, but as I'm not a frou-frou kind of girl, finding something simple isn't easy. I miss my warm orange blog. I miss the earthy colors I had grown so used to. I find this gray rather depressing, but in trying to roll with it, I'm going to take a lesson from the Buddha: "Nothing stays the same so get over it already" (obviously, I'm paraphrasing here). And one day, hopefully soon, I'll find the template that warms my heart once more. And it might not be gray.
Many thanks to the incredible Pema Chodron for that quote.